July 2nd, was when the founding fathers got around to signing thier names to a document, which could've gotten themselves killed, as traitors, spies and enemies of the Crown of England.  After signing, Ben Franklin said, "We shall all surely hang together now."

July 4th, was the day, all the signees finally agreed on what they wrote.

Still have no internet at home, the sale of my parent's farm has been delayed for another 3 weeks (and may or may not be sold), and my savings are almost completely drained.  So, I'm not happy in general. 

At the very least, all the watermelon, canteloupe, pumpkin, basil and corn seed is in.... finally ._.   We'll (my older cousin and I) see how things progress; we had a lot of rain just before planting, and there's a chance the seed moved around under the ground a bit, but it doesn't look like any of it got washed away.  Also sprayed some putrified egg whites and garlic juice on the pre-existing plants, to keep the deer (and hopefully, groundhogs) away.

I have a huge complaint: big companies.  Take McDonald's for example.  Here's the most successful fast-food joint in global history.  It's sales are finally dropping, their menu is all over the place and it's corporate governance is (also) finally souring.

Now, you'd think they'd be proactive about things.  No.  Everything in between sesame seeded buns, causes loose stools.... not  a good selling point.

Since I've been offline, I've noticed the packaging, from almost all Fortune 500 companies, are utter shit.  Not so much in structure, but what's printed on them: cheap, lame graphics.  I saw a plastic cup advertsing an African-American arts festival In New Orleans, with a pastel graphic of a happy woman... looked like total shit, would've gotten under 4.0 in the Art Portal, and more than a few unsatifactory reviews ._.  And that's the best I've seen!

It's all a waste of good ink, and good money, on the part of the American people.

So, in conculsion, fuck these big companies, they have no heart or soul, and should have no part in our culture.  They are morally bankrupt and a hinderance on the things that matter most in life.

I have no idea why I wrote, what I wrote.  Just pissed off, lonely and frustrated, most likely

The work below is a commission I took out with http://sucho.newgrounds.com/ last month... nice, huh?!

I'll know by the end of the month whether I have to: move immediately; stay, and find a new home; or stay, and cope with being dirt poor and moving all my possessions out of rental containers... lovely ._.

Saw the new Mad Max movie yesterday, first movie I've seen in a theater in 15 years.  I was thoroughly unimpressed.  It had the action, the characters... but Max behaved oddly, the script was watery, little to no humor...  I guess this sort of thing happens when they do a storyboard first, THEN write the script (which makes an 'international' property, that much easier to make a buck from).  Also, I didn't see one Chinese person!  That's like watching an American road movie, without seeing a Mexican O_o

To sum up:  It's going to get a lot worse, before the post apocalyptic movies I grew up with, become factual... time's almost up!

Still coming to the library to get online, so PM me or leave word below, if you're curious...

My neighbor's internet service got shut down.  Verzion cited the Digital Millenium Act.  Either way, I doubt she'll let me use her WIFI any longer.  In less than 3 weeks, I'm due to move... or not.  The buyer's dragging his feet on tests he wanted done.

I'll try and get back here to the library, to check up on the writing collab, with any luck I'll be able to participate, when my turn comes 'round.  If you owe me a commission, please continue!  I'm not comfortable using NG on a public computer, where the library records all the sites I go to, as well as what I type!  Maybe the latter will change, if they knock down the Patriot Act renewal.

Either way, I'm not happy.  Since this happened, I've been checking in roughly every other day at my local library.

I've got 41 blog/BBS responces (as of June 3rd) I'm hesitant to check up on, so if you need me, send a brief PM or leave word on this blog.

I got the call just before I finished dinner.  A deposit on the farm and the buyer's signature went on paper Wednesday.  The builder's gonna bring someone over Monday to check for metal tanks under the ground...  Guess I'll have to move my stuff back into the containers... six months of waiting for one asshole, and another one shows up to, apparently, close the deal.

It's not going to be kept as a farm, though the builder-buyer will probably want to, to keep the property taxes to a minimum.  I'm sure the house will be bulldozed within a month of closing, along with all the other out-buildings.

I got hosed bad last time, trying to rent/lease around here, so I might find a long-term hotel somewhere cheap, maybe move next door to Emily in South Philly, or Killadelphia, as the more well heeled suburbanites would say....

All the cats will have to go to a shelter, I'll leave the diesel mower at the house next door, and hope they don't kill it.. well, it's already killed, just picked a battery up for it today, with a 35 dollar markup for some recycling bullshit.  Fucking thing wasn't even charged up |:

Anyway, I'll do my best to follow the 20th Anniversary Writing Collab, and do my bit when the time comes.

In the meantime, I gotta keep packing stuff away, my sister will be here next week, and is likely to go nuts as usual... I may have to kick her out of the house, if she starts getting too anal.  Maybe I can find a decent trailer park....

May 22nd UPDATE: My sis had a rough flight, but she's here now, and the new buyer's coming over today (hopefully; he was supposed to have been here Monday to look for problems with the farm).  Anyway doing my best to control my anxiety

After I had to walk away from my lease-to-buy home and stay with my father, I've had to scrounge the internet where I could.  Even now, I don't have any control over what service comes into this house, as its about to be sold soon (or so I'm told).  So while I'm in this limbo on my dead parents farm, our tenant in the next door house has traded my lawn cutting service for her FIOS WiFi. 

At first I used an ancient laptop at a standing desk I threw together in her unheated, detached garage.  It wasn't pleasant in the wintertime, and the mosquitos in the summer were just awful.  Sometimes I'd leave it plugged in and DL movies, while I hoed the garden or played games on a single core computer I made in 2009... then the computer went bust in 2011.  Then the laptop's monitor went to hell soon afterwards.  I tried hooking up a heavy ass tube monitor to the laptop next door, but it was getting regoddamndiculous.

After many, many hours of trying, I managed to get the signal from next door, using tinfoil to reflect the sub-watt radio waves, onto the laptop's antenna.  Using this system for the past 3 years has been hell.  I had to cut a 'hole' in a tree that sits between my window and the house next door for this to even work.  Trying to connect through walls and windows over 300 feet/100 meters away, is not an easy thing.

This parablic antenna is fucking huge, over 3 feet wide.  I had already bought an expensive wifi dongle, but still had to use the tinfoil method to connect.  Too many times, it just wouldn't.  So instead of buying a wifi card, section of cable and an adapter to use the dish properly, I removed the antennas capture cone, and positioned the wifi dongle in its place.

I can finally have a solid internet connection, and not worry about having my window open or sneezing anymore :)

Newgrounds used to have a lengthy page dedicated to a program called Flash.  After reading it, looking at all info and the Q and A's, I decided it was worth the digital risk.  It ran pretty good on my 200MHz computer, running WIN 95b.  I could finally see how a little program could deliver so much content!  Sadly, my work was with mainstream media at the time, and not expensive software for making animated internet ads.  I guess I've always been an outsider here - not producing any content that fits into any category...

It took me a few months of careful observation before I joined up here.  Didn't want my precious email account spammed/stolen/hacked.  Back then, your ISP gave you a single email address and few megabytes for your POP3 account.  After a while, I realized Tom and his associates were on the level, so I risked sending my email address so I could vote on things, gain some stats.  I definitely blammed this when it came up... 4 stars?  For what?!  Some limp-wristed attempt at a Warhol tribute?  B... feh.

Some days when I had off of work, I'd start with submission #1, Scrotum the Puppy, and go down the list, typing in the next number into MS IE's address field.  I stopped doing that around Portal entry #150.

Around 2003, a security upgrade/redesign kept me from logging on.  I had made a large password, but after a few months I discovered I only needed to type the first 8 characters to log on!  Damn, I forgot the full password, and I had changed to another ISP (along with another email address).  Many years passed, and while moving, I found an old password list.  I tried it out on my cousin's computer, and lo and behold...

I didn't have internet at home during this time, but every weekend, I'd scavenge what I could from NG and torrents, first using floppy disks, then burnable CD's, then a small USB flash drive.  I guess it was kinda like going to the movie rental place and stocking up.  I still have all those hard fought files with me: 2,748 Flash files of NG's best movies and games.  Sometimes I'll archive stuff I see, even today.

Lurking the BBS in the very early days here... was epic.  You wouldn't believe the things that were said here: little kids getting ranked on by street-wise adults in such perverse tones, enough to make a sailor blush!  Anyway, that's the primary reason I didn't say much, even after I could log back on again.

Has it been worth it?  I've tried to counsel as many as I could.  I certainly appreciated it when other Newgrounders did likewise for me.  In the past 15 (14, who's counting?) years, I've lost my parents, quite a few relatives, friends and pets.  I lost my video production business, gained a computer repair/building business... also went bust.  I guess I gained more mental calluses.  All those past failures being played over and over again in my mind, did teach me.

The internet has been tamed and codified.  Boring.  If you look below the surface, the internet is a battlefield, and the casualties are piling up like cordwood.  Now I'm scared to have any personal information out there, especially credit card info |:  There are likely hundreds of thousands of people across the globe, fighting for that and other information... as well as access to our machines. 

I can only wonder what would happen if Obama pressed the 'internet kill switch'... would we get the real truth on TV, newspaper or radio, or would it simply be a perfect time to consolidate the free press into a mouthpiece for government and corporate interests?  (I can't think of anything else to say on the subject, of my being here for so damn long)

EDIT:  I'm taking a vacation from Newgrounds.  Time is our greatest foe, something young people take in stride quite easily, and somehow, make the most of.  It's when we get older, we start to act more conservatively, when we should be acting more proactively.  So, I'm actively fucking off for a few days.  Maybe afterwards, the long buried youthful optimism of this place will present itself better....

First off, I'd like to thank all those who've fanned me.  I know it's fashionable to make posts saying "100 Subs :3" and such, but to me, 178 of you out there have done me a great honor by including me into your feed.  I'm going to eventually get my Vault 101 newspost figured out and organized well - I still can't figure out how to make a link!  Wait... Vault 101 Ooooh :|

Following up my last news post, I'm still living on my dead parent's farm, the prospective buyers requested an extentsion, which expired this past Friday, and I've heard -nothing- since, so the deal may be completely blown.  It's expensive to live here, and I wasted plenty of dough getting ready to move to a cheap dive to figure out what kind of farm I could buy, after the sale went down and the check cleared....  Absolute waste of time and money so far.  And my poor sister, who's been handling this, has been mortally diminished by the process.

Sooo, while I wait for those with more than me, I've got some things planned in the interim...  I bought parts to a new PC, which was assembled by a homeless guy  (he was over for his brithday yesterday; January 7th, 1955).  Only problem is, the neighbor pays for my labor and materials by giving me access to her WiFi, and so far the only thing that's worked, is reflecting the signal from my upstairs window, onto a 13 year old turd with a broken monitor.  Why?  It's the only computer radio I've been able to manually tweak for latency and distance, as the signal comes from over 300 feet away...

Lately I've been having problems even connecting to the internet at all.  A lot of the neighbors are on channel 11, so there's lot's of noise.  I guess I'll keep buying (and returning) off the shelf, until I can find something I can use.  It's likely I'll have to make a cantenna of some sort, blah...  It's like when someone becomes a pot head, they go through a bong buiding phase :\  Eh, at least I have a few tripods, one of which could be used to aim the waveguide antenna.

Here's a pic of some of the vermin, who have me in their thrall.  I think the black one in this picture was the last one to get hit and killed by a car, on Boxing Day no less... recently it had been traveling to a neighbor's house, to get some of the weed smoke vented from this one kids window; used to roll around and meow a lot, apparently.  Late summer last year, the cat used to try and pick pumpkins with me in the field.... nah, that ain't the cat in the pic, that's the other one :\

After 30 days, the farm I've lived on (or next to) for 40 years, will pass to another immigrant family.  3 generations lived on this former apple orchard, many pints of blood split, many mouths fed.  I've got a 6 month lease ready to go on a rental house, and in those months, I have to find a permanent home... too bad it's during the dead of winter :\

Anyway, I' got 2 12' containers yesterday, and all my worldly possessions will go into them: books (8 milk crates), VHS tapes (more than 8 crates), furniture, tools, fabriaction materials (wood, metal), all the art work I've bought here over the years... in the end, I can't take it with me after I die, but it's nice to have toys and tools and cookery at hand.

Moving is kinda easier when you're young, and your stuff is modern and light, and there's not a lot of it.  More milage, more baggage I suppose.  The new owner wants to eventually tear these terra cotta and brick structures down, this is one of the 2.  There's a few old wooden advertisment signs in the middle, as a cattle/horse barrier.  I'll take photos of the inside once it's all cleaned out for the new owners.

November 23rd Sunday morning Update:  About this time yesterday, before I woke up that Saturday morning, my brother sold my fathers green toolbox.  I specifically asked that it not be sold, but it was, so now I don't have any small or medium wrenches to work with.  There was never a complete set of anything in that small box (with stand), but it was our 'go to' box for tools, even after my father passed away.  I couldn't lift it, so I left it in an out of the way place, thinking no self respecting Californian would let a random citizen of New Jersey off the street, climb into a darkened, cramped box trailer 2 feet off the ground.

Anyway, I thought I was adult enough to be able to forgive and forget it, but when I woke up this morning, coughing and hacking from the cleaning I did in the kitchen last night.... I woke up very very angry.  It's never been more clear to me, that my older brother and sister have no empathy, that when they left New Jersey, they left all senimentality behind.  I'm still going to be the 'baby' of the family to them, subject to whatever preconceptions they have about me.

November 27th (Thanksgiving) Update: It sucked.  All I needed was 20 mm socket for 1/2" drive, and my brother wouldn't borrow it from his friend, who was hosting us for dinner... I had other plans and wanted to get done replacing the brakes on the truck, plus I hadn't showered in 3 days, I was working in a wind chill of 20 degrees in wet mud :|  After I managed to clean up, I went out looking for dubious thrills and was left wanting... serious sinus headache from not taking any allergy meds :(

How many cats can you find in this picture (soon to be potentially homeless/caged/euthanized)?  I still haven't gotten all the Never-Seize off my jacket and fingers yet, but better more than less, when it comes to protecting bits of vehicle, exposed to the elements.... Man, those back rotors (the thing the brake pads rub against to slow the wheel) are shot, hardly any meat left and chunky rusty, might even warp under a hard brake O_O  Glad they're making them cheaper nowadays.

21 Days remaining.

November 30th Sunday Update:  (a PM excerpt)

I had a Chinese broad give me the hardest massage ever tonight!  No pain yet, it's amazing... every other back person I've went to causes pain afterwards, must be crappy Western medicine at work.  Ribs hurt like hell though, guess I'm not fully healed up from the motorcycle re-entry... with the iron in this soil, it's damn near like falling on concrete :)   Gotta respect good dirt, if you're a farmer.  It's just one of many titles I've gone by over the years: nerd, dark cloud, producer, janitor, laborer, camera operator, pipefitter, technician, jurist, editor, subject, sinner, author, screenwriter, wheelman, owner-operator, tax payer, employee, son, brother, boy and man.

19 Days....

December 2nd Update:  This place sucks.  Who thinks Wite-Out white is a good color?  Not me, not by a damn sight.  So used to having decent wood panels and cabinents to look at.  I can't get fucked up enough to think this rental house will be tolerable, even over a period of time.  Anyone got any suggestions on how to improve this?!

And the strong mold smell is spicy, like old dog eggs with a side of green cough syrup from 1954, and that's a major concern.  UV-B/C wavelengths can destroy surface mold, germs, just about anything alive.  Ever look at a blacklight and your eyes start acting funny?  Exposure can cause serious eye and skin damage... so it must be great for disinfecting!  Only problem is, the price.  UV-C can't penetrate most glass, and selling a potentially dangerous product doesn't help with availability either... sometimes you see them along ceilings in food prep or hospital areas.

Fuck it, I will endeavor to persevere.  To that end, I have purchased components to make my last 6 months in New Jersey, a triffle easier.  Once assembled, these components will become a modern, enthusiasts' computer, a desktop PC, if you will.  The down side?  The local USPS postman is delievering the video card, not the UPS or FEDEX man |:  This guy makes the postman in Fraiser look trustworthy and reliable.  Plus he sucks at closing mailbox lids...

December 3rd Update:   I backed out of the rental house, gonna take a big hit to the wallet |: >:(  I can't sacrifice my health (and my stuff), to toxic mold.  WIth my sinus problem still unresolved after 4 fuck head ENTs......  Looking at a crappy condo a few miles away, hopefully be able to take the housecat too... almost too close to home, and we (sis and I) gotta be outta here on the 17th, so they can check things out freely without us being there, it's something required to close.  Another last minute change to the deal.  Again.  Must be a management trick by my sister to ensure last minute compliance from me.  Again. 

Getting played, fucks with my ego, but I'm remianing calm.  I'll get pissed off later, kill some 2D sprites, drive out to PA to find a permanent home, dull my senses... soon the worst will be past me, and my destiny can be mine alone to control.

December 11th, 11:11 PM EST/Pico Time:  Well, here I am again, in the garage next door, 280 feet closer to the AP (wireless access point).  I haven't had to travel down here since I figured out a way to use tinfoil and a saw, to cut an opening/line-of-sight, out of a tree, so I could send/recieve the wifi radio/internet.  Another long story....

I wish I had better news, there's been a classic 'change in the plans' and yet, everyone's wanting to get this done before Christmas before everyone decides to fuck off.  I've been told the farm sale still will likely go through, I still have my doubts, since the "Empire Strikes Back" change in plans, is enough to skunk the whole deal... and I'm the one in the hot seat, or rather, lack of a hot seat, especially now, in an unheated garage, standing at a makeshift table, with my broken latop in front of me, and my (also) donated LCD screen to my left.  Another long story, to those of you not familiar with my eariler posts.

I hate this waiting game, but I have little choice, as I've already lost so much in the leadup to this thing.  I've got just enough saved up to find a place for 6 months, which should be more than enough time to find a new home, and for the check to clear for the farm.... so I can buy a smaller one, in a state, far, far away.

There's more to say, some good some bad, no time |:  It's been a while since I had to stand in the cold, typing to the world using a name of my own creation.  My father was alive then, for one.

December 17th Update:  Today, I was not supposed to be here.  Today, the new buyers were entitled to have complete access to the property for 48 hours, at the end of which, they'd deposit the final payment, and the deal would be done.  Since they didn't do the second to last payment, the whole plan has been knocked into a cocked hat :p  Now they'll surely renegotiate a lower price, because they found things they didn't like in the soil... because money always matters |:

And I'm still waiting for a number of things to happen.  Told the real estate lady not to wait for me, if another offer comes along, I still might not be ready or able to move...

December 23rd Update:  Well my sister left the same day the farm was supposed to have been sold.  I've been told since, that the buyers want a 2 week extention, to 'review their options', which means: they can investigate the farm more, renegotiate the price, walk away entirely.  Whatever.

This concludes this newspost, it will not be updated further.  Moral of the story?  Money talks, and bullshit walks.

Unless something drastic happens in the next week, I'll be forced to move off the farm before the end of this year.  And as New Jersey is a fuck up of a state, I'll have to move out of it.  Since the farm is part of 'the estate', my older (by 18 and 19 years) brother and sister will fly in to 'expedite' things.  Last time they were both here, things were stolen, mismanaged, and otherwise, pissed me off, as they only have a limited amount of trust in me... and sometimes they act as though I'm one of their employees (default management mode).

So, I'll be lucky to deposit here regularly, let alone treat this place as a daily hangout till next year.  Just hope I'll be able to get decent, cheap internet wherever I end up.  And a decent food store.  And water... fuck, any one familiar with rural, eastern Pennsylvania?

Dealing with a lot pf personal pains just now, so I gotta take a break from this happy place for a week or so.

I like spending time here, but it takes a lot of effort.  And while that might be a worthwile diversion in anyones life, it's just clouding the issues I have alone at home.  So many of you have shown genuine love and corncern, it's hard to say, "Give me a minute, I need to collect myself"

<Insert last few frames of Das Boot here>

Someone's always got it worse, I know, but in addition to all that's gone before, I just need time to let the hope well fill up again.  Seen way too much suffering in the mirror and in others to slap on a happy face all the time.  Too much shit, and I just get pissed off at it all, instead of crying, which seems the more painful of the two options... which likely means I'm going to hell, big whoop |: