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VicariousE
Wanted to be a simple man of the Earth, enjoying art and literature, the bounty of the Earth. Instead, I have to fend against governments and principalities, global conspiracies and bad social engineering, ree, my autism

Age 51, Male/Penis

dillgent tryhard

Jeffersonian

homeless/NE USA

Joined on 2/15/01

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Time to pause

Posted by VicariousE - October 4th, 2014


Dealing with a lot pf personal pains just now, so I gotta take a break from this happy place for a week or so.

I like spending time here, but it takes a lot of effort.  And while that might be a worthwile diversion in anyones life, it's just clouding the issues I have alone at home.  So many of you have shown genuine love and corncern, it's hard to say, "Give me a minute, I need to collect myself"

<Insert last few frames of Das Boot here>

Someone's always got it worse, I know, but in addition to all that's gone before, I just need time to let the hope well fill up again.  Seen way too much suffering in the mirror and in others to slap on a happy face all the time.  Too much shit, and I just get pissed off at it all, instead of crying, which seems the more painful of the two options... which likely means I'm going to hell, big whoop |:


Comments

Awh, take all the time you need, we all have our ups and downs. Time heals all wounds.

Hope you feel better soon.

Regards <3

Good luck dealing with the real life stuff Asterix. Based on what you're saying it seems like taking a little break is a decent idea.

Like tailsbuddy said, take as much time as you need to take. Don't try rushing anything and try pretending that you're feeling better.

All the best to you VicariousE. Sounds like tough times.

Take as long as you need man, we all need to get away and vent.

See you in space cowboy.

You do too much here...

take a rest you deserve it

Hey, sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hope you feel better knowing that your long-awaited commission of Asterix is all finished...! c:

Sending lots of good vibes and well wishes your way.
- Sab

I'm doing better, thanks hon :3 The meat around my ribs is starting to get reattached again, though I still wake up earlier than I'd like from pain. Been so busy this month, guess living on a farm does attract people when the season changes for the colder... folks want their last taste of fresh food/future favors/socialization.

Still haven't gotten around to reading (not skimming) your lil sis' magnum opus Origins, which is unexpectedly good O_O I wish I wrote that well at her age! Should've guessed someone so closely related to you would be so exceptionally talented - hope you can take time to hang out with her more often (she didn't say anything, but I'm guessing she would benefit from being out and about more often)

Also appreciated your take on the Asterix commish... far be it from me to say it was a tad drab, certainly the score doesn't reflect that ;)

wtf Sabtastic I say that

Sending you good vibes and positive karma,
- Dr. Sumir Thripi Chandra "S3C" -

good luck and goodnight bub. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP9MTIIgxLk

As if the dozen cats I'm stuck with isn't creepy enough. Thanks, it's odd I've seen that video before.
life's haunting enough :\

i think everyone supports you here, V....please take care of yourself, clearly we all love you here, and i think it's a little dark all around...dude, Hyrus is gone man...its the worst. but thank you for everything, V, we'll miss you until you return.

Yeah I was shocked he pulled anchor and sailed off! Ah, it's just so many things on the horizon are dark, not like when you're a kid, and thinking the future is an unlimited wishing well of possibilities.

Everyone could use a break from this place once in a while, though it seems like even when you post these posts you're still here somewhere, hiding in the shadows... for a moment, lurking, recuperating, gaining momentum till you burst forth once again. ;) Whatever those issues are that you have to deal with, hope it goes well!

Lol, gotta keep depositing, ganking good pics and good tunes for my doomsday archive.

This issues are still there, just need to stand up for myself, spend more time hedging my bets, getting old problems solved... make room for new ones. When I used to clean for a living, that's what I did: cleaned things up, so a new mess can flourish while I was home resting from it all.

You end up in hell and want to break out, lemme know.

Guess we better make sure to bring our cellphones with us.

Actually, I don't own a cellphone, as there aren't too many people I could call.

I guess I'm just resigned to the fact, that I'm going to recycling, not ascension :p unless there is such a thing as free will for all, and not just for a very tiny fraction of the human populace

everyone needs a break every now and then, hope everything will be fine for you soon enough!

Who needs a cellphone!? Just tap into the neural hive-mind and send a general alert. :D

Time to unpause...

jesus dude http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Bill-Murray-Laughs-Then-Turns-Sad.gif
-my reaction to your last sentence cluster...what a plot twist. Hope you are doing okay...and I hope your babysitter is in jail

Lol, some gif. Actors can really put emotions into words, and... that pretty much sums up my situation.

Yeah :| Technically, she should be charged, but the worst of it was the cover up by my brother and her sister.... which set off some parental alarms :\ I had to lie to keep her safe, she wasn't a bad person, she just wanted to make love to someone who wasn't intellectually challenged |: But her father had been a pervert, and even though she was never abused, that stain of emotional neediness must've rubbed off on her. She's got a kid and husband now, lesson learned, I'm sure.

I know we don't chat much, but I see you enough on here to give you my two cents. Look man, if you have a lot of personal stuff going on I don't think a one week vacation from newgrounds is the answer. Yeah, life is difficult to navigate...yes, what is life but sensory data interpreted for each individual...yes, what is the internet but the collective human consciousness...but the internet cannot hold you at night, it cannot bail you out of jail or give you a helping hand when you're begging on the street...That face you see in the mirror and those around it are what truly matter in life...the ones that touch your soul on a personal level cannot be found in 0's and 1's...all I'm trying to say is everything in moderation, don't feel like you owe this community something when you have life knocking at your door, when life is knocking, you need to answer...or else time will creep faster and faster and following closely behind it is death itself. So fear not for leaving the digital playground will not create any voids in yourself or others as it is just that, a playground. Instead answer life's knocking, look it in the eye, and step out into the spectrum of meaning and fulfillment. Those faces need you and you need them. People are in each others lives for a reason, and I know you believe this especially if you are a god-fearing man. Personally I don't know or really care if there is heaven or hell after life because I know they both can be found at anytime during life. It's all created by our own psyche and circumstances. Our own selves. This is a blessing and a curse as we can attempt to control our psyche but it is much more difficult, if not impossible to control circumstance. I write this not only for you, but for everyone...including myself. Humanity is at a low point, we realize what we are doing and it drives us mad. It is infuriating that the very "freedom" we have achieved is the very thing that enslaves us. We look upon the "wild" animals as having more freedom than modern humans, while we know our ancestors would be marveling at the very thought of existing in our fascinating time. Who is truly free? Were we more free at the mercy of nature than we are at the mercy of ourselves? It is these very thoughts that must unite us to make the world a better place. While the internet is a great place to dream, the world is where to begin. Fight. Win.

I saw your comment on Nietz page Mr V and i got curious, i agree with all most everything that @Wojoe has said except with this:

Humanity has always been at the mercy of itself, we are social animals at core, from the beginning there was no such thing as individuals a term that was born on XVII century following the ideas of liberalism, like those of Hobbes in which man is a wolf to man (which is the one i particularly like the most), or likewise the equally crazy idea of Rousseau in which everything was nice and dandy and thus we were able to manage alone.
From the beginning we are born (and we were born) inside the primitive social circle known as family and from there on our whole lives and identities will be shaped according to the interactions that we have with others, while is true that our control over nature has grown the pitiful intents that we have made to control society by distancing ourselves have proven to be futile.

In resume we have always been at the mercy of ourselves and nature, is just recently that we have been able to fight back against nature and consider going against society (Foucault, Nietzsche, etc) so with this said, Mr V you should listen to Wojoe and take care of your real life problems, for as men that never were truly free you should realize of the chains that the internet may make invisible when it entertains us and distracts us, see those chains acknowledge them, and Fight. Win.

Fight for balance, gotcha ;)

I'm still bloody insane. All my family's dead.. it's hard to count my bro and sis among them, half a world away (linear distance) and 2 decades separating us (linear time), I live alone, under the torment of the cats.

If you put it like that then taking time off the internet is not the best of ideas because that's were most of the people you communicate with are.
However are you really alone? what about your cousin, and that friend that send you the camera, and that other friend you talked about moving away with which lived near... Arizona i think it was? if i remember you said that you don't like to fly, but you could always travel by road.

IDK, I got a double scotch, sat away from the crowd near where the skimpily dressed servers work the floor, I had 3 of them talking to me. I'm a good listener. Lol, also a good tipper, I brought another watermelon over, but the guy who was supposed to get it, got deported over the weekend. Plus the last one I brought over... one of the servers was highly allergic to it! Busted out in a rash and everything, just from the smell/spray (from slicing?)

I just don't have a daily routine, everyday is damage control, or something to consolidate all that's left, the 'estate's' and mine... and with a rather anal sister overseeing things, I'm not in much of a position to make final calls.. but in some ways, neither can she.

I guess when life's either transitory or stagnant, it still requires others.

I see, it is a complex situation, i don't know how close you have become with those waitress through your conversations with them beyond that of a customer, or how close you were with that guy which got deported, but all of them sound like new people that you are just starting to meet, and one of them is not even there anymore.

There's this psychological(social) phenomenon called catharsis (you can google it for more info, this message seems like it is going to be long and i want to keep it as brief as possible), a simple way to see this is as emotional venting, it can happen frequently both in the net and irl, it is the process in which we tell our life stories and worries to persons that have nothing to do with us, it makes us feel better but it doesn't really solves our problems, more importantly it may generate a sense of unity or closeness but this is just an illusion, even if that stranger knows things about you that even your family and friends don't know, they are still strangers, with no real link to you, of course the opposite can happen an stranger opens up to you.

OK with that said i will go to the point here, when i ask you about your social context, i am not referring to these casual persons that interact with you (on the net or irl), and even if it feels bad to say it, your sister (even when she is your family) falls on this category because it doesn't seems that you have the best of relationships with her. So that's why i mention your cousin, because it also seems that you have a better relationship with him, and that other guy you mentioned some months ago when you considered moving from the farm, these are examples of people that probably don't know you in an undisclosed and intimate way, but that are close to you in a physical and temporal context, meaning: you have history with them, a link so to speak, and thus you should be talking with them each time that you feel like taking some time off the internet and deal with the world, this is mostly because as people that are there irl, they can help you beyond just giving life advice or some ideas, like what i or others may be doing at the moment.

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