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VicariousE
Wanted to be a simple man of the Earth, enjoying art and literature, the bounty of the Earth. Instead, I have to fend against governments and principalities, global conspiracies and bad social engineering, ree, my autism

Age 51, Male/Penis

dillgent tryhard

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homeless/NE USA

Joined on 2/15/01

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PTSD, The End of America and Missing Loved Ones

Posted by VicariousE - October 2nd, 2012


One of the problems with growing up early, is the lack of a solid, fantasy filled childhood. Growing up In the 70's and early 80's was tough for my parents. They didn't expect my arrival and there was a serious recession going on, but nothing like what's going on now. As such, I had to work the farm, be a plumbers assistant, a surveyor and heavy laborer all before I had hair on my nuts.

I witnessed violence(s), murder (almost got caught up in the mob afterward), unexplained mysteries and emotional strife of every color of the rainbow, all before I was old enough to drive. After that there were brushes with all levels of law enforcement, but luckily, it was just for practicing my freedom, and not being a douche. I noticed as time went on, the America I grew up with had dissolved into a police state where your ideas could be charged with a crime (along with the body as well). Had I known the people of this country would have been fooled into such terrible circumstances, I would have left... but the 1980's under Ronald Reagan, were a time of pride and confidence and that kept me 'dreaming'. And pride does proceed great falls. As Ben Franklin once said, those who want security at the expense of freedom, deserve neither.

My mother could see the writing on the wall, even not knowing all the sordid details of our country's betrayal. Even she was conned into believing in Obama, but... She was a staunch Republican, listened to Rush on the radio and voted in every election (didn't help - people choose their parties like tattoos in most parts of the country). But before she died in the hospital, for months on end, she had only crappy TV... and the 'plastic educator' convinced her Obama would be different, like JFK was in her prime. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, though, at least JFK died while trying to defeat the private bankers in charge of the Federal Reserve - that much is very clear to me.

Like with all living things, life goes on, despite whatever happens to it. The scars of the past are fading on me now, as I approach 40 years of decreptitude. No one can have their childhood back - we remake ourselves as times goes on. All ya can do is cherish the moments, for they will never come again. No need to dwell on the wrongs you've committed - if it was really that bad, consider the lesson learned.

My BBS sig says, "No matter where you go, there you are", because, no matter how far you travel, you still got the same baggage - it's up to you to figure out how to tune yourself into being a feeling person.... "source programmable guidance" if you will.

My mom had excellent taste in moves and music for her age, and a combination of wit and humor I've rarely seen in others. Recently, while rewatching old TV shows on torrents, I came across something I got my mom to watch, and she got a real kick out it. Making and giving happiness to others is just as precious as life itself. Just don't forget to get a little for yourself.


Comments

let me be the first to say hello to this long and thoughtful post

The post sez hello back... and thanks for reading it. I was really tired, muscles were twitching badly and I was mitigating nicotine withdrawal when I wrote it. But after seeing that one DS9 episode on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and remember watching a bit of it with my mom, I figured I needed to vomit up a situation report of sorts.
Get any food today? You watch the video... Nick might like it - it kinda sounds like the Fallout 3 soundtrack.
I got some unpleasant phone calls to make then I'm gonna get a nap in... it's wet out and Pop went 2 hours South of here for a back adjustment.. then it's 2 hours back and on dubious tires :|

K hon, I'll see ya this evening :3 (stupid soggy weather permitting :<)

evening? so like 6?
yah i got some wafles for breakfast and tacos for lunch.
lol hon?

god i miss tacos
ya i know, but it seemed to early in the post to address you by name

guess not like 6 then.....

i slept for 1 1/2 hours then some weird sounding shit woke me up
i feel like total shit
....and it took an hour for the signal to clear - it was kinda messed up while i was writing my 1st response to you
where the hell are the other guys?

Now I feel like a jerk for feeling like crap... And it's about to get worse.
Every time the rain picks up or the wind blows, my WiFi poo-poos out, so I'm loading/watching Catch 22 on YT and I really hope it doesn't make me feel worse.
The only good thing to happen today, was a deferral for jury duty till 10/22/13 and I hope to all that's holy, I'm outta this fucking state by then :|

they're planning an invasion while playing pokemon pink ofcourse! god steve i thought you knew this!

....I dont think they could invade a paper bag :P

-_-" (thats to the second part of what you said damitrin)
you and i both know its nick that plays pokemon pink....

for the record, was there ever a pokemon pink??

pokemon emerald, mama brandy. Got a gba emulator on my phone now :l

that one I heard of.....

Nah, they like fantasizing about masturbation in euphemism.

well shit, 'pocket monster', who wouldn't think that?!
that was my first thought way before i saw the first season...
they had to explain why the show caused epilepsy and then explain wtf the show was on about.... still wonder if it was really staged - i saw the episode in question not long ago and it sure looks unhealthy

Fucks, I bought some Marlboros but they smell like burnt wire insulation :O
Had to fucking stop watching that movie..... my sanity is running on fumes already

(steve)
no......its a joke saying that the reason nick isn't here for periods of time is because hes busy ehm "jerkin it"
i feel weird saying that ._.

oh
well good for him :3 and the girls he's not raping in his spare time

Precisely Brandon-- Fantasizing about a younger man masturbating.

brandons got a fap fetish?

(Pointing out why you should feel weird saying that)

by the end of jr hs, that kinda talk shouldnt weird out any guy

haha
haha
no -_-
i just started saying that because damitrin did
if anything its HER fantasizing about you doing that

that is a possibility
a few gf's I had got a kick out that idea.... women can be just as preverted as guys... just look at the shadling's fanbase here :|

If the episode had flashing bright colors then it's plausible to believe mass-epilepsy occurred throughout Japan.

you see the banned episodes.?... now THEY are a weird ppl

Infatuation with it should, Steve :l.

yeah but if you ever ask a chick if she pets the kitty, you almost always get a no.. or they say they have a dildo :P its no wonder modern women have a hard time getting the loud orgasmic shakes :|

ya know its you guys talking like this that drove me to do cocaine on a daily basis ._.

lolz
that also seems plausible

hey now its nick thast doing the real fantasizing -_-

yeeeeeah
sure
i believe ya

you like the doggie gif i sent ya?

Dunno dami, when you think about it, fantasizing is imagining or daydreaming, and you seem to openly imagine people masturbating-- hence the source of this topic being none other than the barfer of many colors :l!

Well she ate so much beacon yesterday, I think she could only barf a pinkish arc.
Yup, just like I said earlier about women prevertz.....

if brandon does cocaine on a daily basis than im just lighting a candle and licking it ._.

maybe that car accident did fuck up my brain.... im sure before that, couldve made sense of your statement ma'am :|

(steve)
see i have a point
and i don't look at his stuff ._.
just dont really feel like or want to.....

(nick)
i saw that Porygon (more than likely fucked up its name but who cares) episode of Pokemon on youtube
i dont see how it could cause seizures....ya see the episode where Ash got a gun pulled on him? or where they originally had Jynx colored black but changed it to purple because it was deemed "racist" or when they had that contest thing where James was dressed as a chick and all that stuff?

some of his stuff is just... over the edge. guess it keeps his bills paid
funny, he actually responded to a comment i left a day or two ago
he DOES have excellent taste in metal musics and his YT vids of his paintings is pure wizardry

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