View Profile VicariousE

Turn over new leaf?

Posted by VicariousE - 1 month ago

Should I drastically change who I am? Thinking, yes, probably should.

When people older than myself wanted to assume control, I let them, when someone asked for my time, help or a loan I gave it to them. Now that I don't have the means to be so generous, I'm labeled a cheat, liar, asshole, bum, trespasser.

So what if I suddenly became an asshole for real? Would save me plenty of time, money and aggravation. The few friends and family I have in real life have turned their backs on me, what's to lose?

If I'm able to access Newgrounds after this month, I might not be so kind as I have been, but I'll be worse in real life. America is only good for assholes.

Comments (11)

it's not possible for some. I don't think you have the @sshole gene...don't lose your way dude.

Maybe not the gene, but oh boy, I dunno about other ppl w/ Asperger's, but I can sure let the pissy juice loose if so provoked... too bad it's not a valid argument. My own fault for talking softly, even with bulleted points, numbers, simple statements... maybe should've employed creative cussing

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to repair those relationships (or start new ones instead) without becoming either an asshole or a pushover.

Almost all people are static characters, once an asshole, always an asshole. I've been a good leader w/ my own projects, likely would've made a good husband or father.. but bleh I'm kind of a pushover when it comes to others who think they know better

Eh you are way smarter than the asshole genepool of Americans.

Yea should've bolted to the great white north or Australia... considered Belize even, shame I never got the contract to shoot a commercial for their tourist bureau. Americans are too damned wrapped up in achieving, collecting.. tryharding as a lifestyle, dunno why, can't battle a finite existence. Leaving something behind is good though, but not if you trample the present day

You take care now. Keeping IRL away from anyone's minds does wonders.

IKR? Used to tell my Pop 'don't go visiting my intentions', but when you start ignoring ppl's actions... shit :(

Really miss your discord man, still in it, but haven't opened it, guess it's like a big ball of awesomeness that will keep like a good bottle of hooch, just waiting for someone to twist the cap off

I'm an asshole myself and it's working out for me. My reasons for being an asshole? People suck. There's the gangsta mindset that seems to run rampant everywhere. What happened to being a civilized human being and leaving people the fuck alone? Then there's blatant ignorance to go with it, and you're not innocent of this. People run their fucking mouth without knowing all of the facts. There's also the issue of intolerance and bigotry. Again, you're not in the clear on this. The opposite of love should be indifference. So, in part, people like you are the reason I'm an asshole. Fuck you very much. Take what you can get from that.

appreciate the well thought sentiments... noticed you rewrote this a few times.
i'm for live and let live, but also like helping, which requires some knowledge and resources, the latter of which is not inexhaustable... and yup, guilty as charged to : intolerance, bigotry. the problem i've had lately is, i've overcompensated for it, and given ppl waaay too much 'benefit of the doubt' when the facts in front of me said different... but i'm being vague, likely frustratingly so as a response.
blame the lack of protein, lol sry

Red pill or blue pill, V? Or how about a big fuck off cup of painkillers dipped in glue and glass?

Would you sooner hit a rewind button, or a fast-forward button?

Assholes make noise and cause a lot of shit. But every now and then they get fucked.

There is good and bad everywhere. One wonders why this potent mixture is allowed to co-exist. Serial killers in the same world as saints. But maybe every saint is one step, disaster or tragedy away from being a serial killer.

How are you living? Have you got your own place? A job? As Roy Campbell would say, "what's the situation, Snake?"

rewind button for sure, but not to be an asshole, just more assertive! the more i wanted to scream, was when i knew i was right... but since no one would advocate for me, would've involved a lawyer :p almost to the point of being a box of litigious cereal w/ a blob of unknown at the bottom for a prise
eh, starving and bony, truck undriveable as i couldnt effect repairs due to said muscle loss, did some contract cleaning locally but smh paid less than min wage, no new jobs here in long time... unless amazon :p
so it's bad, wish and hope for recompense from many sources, who have gotten used to looking the other way

Very well, sir.
I feel no need to "compensate" for past misdeeds. There's no point. You might not like it. A lot of people wouldn't. Some might say that it's bad karma. I don't care. It doesn't matter. The only things that matter is that I improve as a human being and don't hurt anyone else as I've done in the past. On the other side, I sure as hell don't need to be letting anyone get over on me. You've used the word assertive. And that's exactly what you need to be, and what I do my best to be (though my autism holds me back at times). You can be an asshole and survive well, even thrive. However, keep in mind that paybacks are a bitch, a lesson I know too well. I'm trying to be less of an asshole, but past trauma makes it difficult. I'm thinking that you have dealt with some shit in your life as well to the point that you almost can't help being an asshole sometimes. There are cases where you have to be an asshole (usually to deal harshly with an asshole who deserves it), but please don't be like that 24/7. It's unbecoming of someone with a bigger brain than most Americans.

Yea, guess it takes the genetically different a couple of extra years to acclimatize to the ways normal humans conduct themselves... so many different ways, and the methods(acting) change every few years. Learned behavior seems generational, ugh too many variables... and it doesn't take much flustering from them to mess me up :p

Hey, wait, are you, like, going hungry and shit because you are that fucked in life? Come on, man, go get some food stamps (if you don't have them already). Eat at soup kitchens/homeless shelters that serve free meals when you can. If not, my apologies, disregard this comment.

Like just over 2 months of barely anything to eat, but luckily my best friend's sis lives a town over from me, hooked me up Sunday. Then someone called animal control on my outside cats, but I know the guy and he brought over some deer meat and angus chop meat/ground beef...

Just fucky that the few family and friends I've done favors for ignored me, and the one lady I kinda owe came through for me (she had 6 of the farm cats spayed here after the place sold - all but one ran off, and that cat took up w/ the tenants next door, got run over 3 months ago)

Live far enough away from county seat/distribution points to make it a prob. Also no phone, so no appointments for said help. Guess there's lots of backstory to my situation and to handouts in general... history's been helpful in understanding humanity/social constructs

not that one can make a well-founded amateur diagnosis over the internet- but why do consider yourself to have aspergers? if there's one identifiable characteristic of people on the spectrum, it would be a lack of or inability to express empathy, and to me it doesn't seem that you have such a trait.

I don't have the empathy gene, but I got raised by older parents who taught me values. Growing up, saw the reactions of ppl I've helped, hurt, etc, so that's visual feedback, enough to adjust my tack... you know, anything to keep me out of social problems lol. Still have emotions myself, but I know they differ from everyone else's... there seem to be fewer flavors, but more potent.

Just glad I didn't get raised or treated differently from normies, good ol' late 20th century institutional ignorance, took em 2 decades to label it, create a code number for it

Damn, I don't even know what to say to all of that. I can't imagine that kind of life, though I've been in some bad situations.
Fun fact: I was homeless less than two months ago. Staying in a shelter can be rough, but most I've been to provided at least two meals a day. And I had a storage unit, which wasn't too expensive, though it was because I didn't have much stuff. $40 a month for a 4x4 unit. I kept most of my stuff in the storage (some people in shelters steal), which I visited at least twice a week for clothing/laundry and sometimes work gear. I don't know if it's different where you're at, or if you'd consider a shelter an option at this time. I'm just throwing it out there for you.

It is so nice to have you back on Newgrounds, leaving your thoughts and feelings about life. I have always related to a lot of your blogs and have been wondering how things are going with you and it is nice to know you are keeping your head up. I don't know about Wookums advice but I don't suggest a shelter, or any organization that is going to ask more of you than you are willing to give out. No instead I would suggest digging deep and sell yourself to the highest bidder for your talent and skills, you have a sharp mind and are full of wonderful ideas that I know someone will be able to use. Settle for nothing less than what you feel you are worth and I hope you make your goals of success, sooner than later.